Always.
It is a loaded word for someone like me. Always. Forever. Without exception. Uninterruptedly.
This is our final hour. Always may no longer apply. Tonight will see us try to ensnare a foe that has spent the past year ravaging the earth. Are we ready?
So many conversations I have yet to have, avenues I have yet to explore. My mind is a whirling muddle and I need to impose order upon it.
I am told that a vampire that is confronted with his own mortality, his Final Death, can be a brooding, broken monster, who, in his final moments, frenzies his way into oblivion. I have been taught better. I have lived better. My Beast and I have come to grips, and it is I who am in control.
I am rambling.
Much like events thirteen and a half years ago, the end of our city, of our world, has brought together the wary elements of the supernatural. Tonight will see vampire, werewolf, hunter, mage, shapeshifter, and so many others working in concert to defend this city, these people, from utter annihilation.
Strange bedfellows indeed.
I have no doubt we will prevail. Putting aside our decidedly hometown advantage, this ritual will seal them away for a long time. A very long time.
And if it does so above ground, the Field Museum gets a new exhibit.
The only question is who, and what, we will lose. Those lost will spur their companions on, but who will it be? Who can I afford to lose? I wonder if even Marcus can tell who will fall tonight. Fate seems...cloudy when one involves the Titans.
Regardless, once the dust settles, we will be thrust into a new world, where the Veil is torn away and the Masquerade dissolves to ash. Will the fact that we, that supernaturals and hunters, came together in humanity's defense stave off the mob mentality I fear will form? Or will we be faced with a modern day torch and pitchfork scenario, fear overcoming rational thought?
It is of no consequence.
I have been urged to set up a far away place for shelter, after tonight's events. I have also refused. I have spent too long, become too invested, in Chicago, defending her people, and mine.
And that will be the hardest part. For so long I have fought supernaturals in defense of humanity. (To be fair, it started out in hatred, but I would like to think my goals became far nobler as time marched on.) Now I feel I may need to act in reverse - protecting the supernatural from humanity. Once mortals realize the power they wield, when they embrace that numbers are their biggest strength, we may be in trouble. It will take some very public explanation. I will likely take part.
My beast cringes at the thought, urges me to stay hidden...but hiding is no longer an option.
Besides, I am Gavin Abrams, CEO of Ultor Corporation, Angelslayer, former Ace, and Geralt Dessalines, Ventrue childe of Viviana, Carthian, and Restorer of Relics. Hiding is not in my blood. Not anymore. And I will always act in the defense of others, be they mortal or supernatural.
With time stretched before me, it both interrupted tonight and simultaneously stretching to the horizon, always seems so very far away. "I will always..." Pretentious, perhaps, with the nature of what I am working against me. Yet there is a single idea I must cling to.
We are who we choose to be.
Without that, I am truly lost. I will only become a monster if I allow myself to become a monster. Do not misunderstand me, I am no fanciful vampiric hero, fighting my nature in some noble quest. I have done some small share of despicable things that I had, at the time, a rational explanation for doing. No, I am simply a man doing what he can to prevent lasting harm to others.
Is "always" possible? Does "always" take into account immortality? Or is the word made even more powerful to those who have the chance to live forever? We shall see.
Perhaps "always" is unattainable.
But I shall always be trying.
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long
Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
((Musical inspiration: The Hollow Men, for trumpet & string orchestra - Persichetti))
Friday, September 19, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
April 1st (Late Morning)
How fitting that my nearly two month hiatus should be broken on April Fool's Day. I feel as if I should make some sort of joke, but I fear any joke would fall flat on its face.
In the intervening months, Ultor has made leaps and bounds in further establishing its presence in Chicago. Nox Team has neutralized several potent threats to Chicago's safety, while Selene Team has not only brought down corrupt executives and recovered some of their ill-gotten goods, they have also provided a somewhat steady source of income for the company. Which will stand us quite well in the coming conflict.
Mr. Tesla has done wonders in revitalizing our Research and Development. He has spearheaded several new projects, all of them ambitious (i.e. power armor). I hope they are finished in time.
Quite recently, Ultor was attacked by both Titan spawn and a Titan itself. We temporarily lost two members of our fireteam (brought back by supernatural means, even beyond me) to take down an invading force of those hoplites and a rather large Titan, the latter of whom we could barely hit.
The Titan retreated, leaving us to recover, and me to ponder what the hell to do next.
The answer came in the form of a former Elytech employee. This particular employee had been head of Lab E, where Cortana had been created. He told me that he had rescued a particular project before the fireteams could dismantle it and had decided to go ahead and offer it to me now. Codenamed Project Valkyrie, this should give us some small edge in our fight.
The biggest danger, however, is not the Titans, nor their spawn. It is what comes after. No matter who lives after the Titans are defeated, that will be, I believe, the end of the Masquerade, and of the Veil. The explanation for the simultaneous attacks on all supernatural and hunter organizations was thin enough. We are not going to be able to explain away the sort of climactic battle toward which we seem to be hurtling.
Our best chance, then, is to continue being the defenders of humanity we set out to be. We need offer no lies nor cover ups in the wake of this battle.
Perhaps I think too far ahead by automatically discounting this battle as won. I will leave most of it to others, while I plan for what comes next. Naturally, Ultor will need to open field offices, even if they are just points of contact to start. I also plan to utilize Seraphina's specialties to their fullest extent and offer either technologically based protection from the mind influencing effects of supernaturals, or the natural training to resist them. This may make even my existence harder, but if there is ever to be any peace after the Veil breaks, humanity will need to be able to tell vampires, mages, and other supernaturals "no".
This planning and project-focus is useful, and helpful, for distracting me from other facets of my life. Not long ago, I lost a bit of control on one of Selene Team's marks. I removed him from prison, "entertained" him for a few days, drained him, and then fed him to my dogs - all because of the sins of the father.
I do not necessarily regret my actions. I regret the recklessness with which I enacted them. Taking that sort of risk was foolish, and ill-befitting of a Ventrue and Viviana's childe. I maintain that I am not half as clever as I think I am, and that is going to get me in trouble some night soon.
I have acquired a new revolver, the same model as Thunder, if you can believe it. It will not replace Lightning (nor should it), but it may serve me well in the future when dealing with ghosts and possessions.
I know there are more topics I can cover, however, I am not clear-headed enough to even touch on them.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
In the intervening months, Ultor has made leaps and bounds in further establishing its presence in Chicago. Nox Team has neutralized several potent threats to Chicago's safety, while Selene Team has not only brought down corrupt executives and recovered some of their ill-gotten goods, they have also provided a somewhat steady source of income for the company. Which will stand us quite well in the coming conflict.
Mr. Tesla has done wonders in revitalizing our Research and Development. He has spearheaded several new projects, all of them ambitious (i.e. power armor). I hope they are finished in time.
Quite recently, Ultor was attacked by both Titan spawn and a Titan itself. We temporarily lost two members of our fireteam (brought back by supernatural means, even beyond me) to take down an invading force of those hoplites and a rather large Titan, the latter of whom we could barely hit.
The Titan retreated, leaving us to recover, and me to ponder what the hell to do next.
The answer came in the form of a former Elytech employee. This particular employee had been head of Lab E, where Cortana had been created. He told me that he had rescued a particular project before the fireteams could dismantle it and had decided to go ahead and offer it to me now. Codenamed Project Valkyrie, this should give us some small edge in our fight.
The biggest danger, however, is not the Titans, nor their spawn. It is what comes after. No matter who lives after the Titans are defeated, that will be, I believe, the end of the Masquerade, and of the Veil. The explanation for the simultaneous attacks on all supernatural and hunter organizations was thin enough. We are not going to be able to explain away the sort of climactic battle toward which we seem to be hurtling.
Our best chance, then, is to continue being the defenders of humanity we set out to be. We need offer no lies nor cover ups in the wake of this battle.
Perhaps I think too far ahead by automatically discounting this battle as won. I will leave most of it to others, while I plan for what comes next. Naturally, Ultor will need to open field offices, even if they are just points of contact to start. I also plan to utilize Seraphina's specialties to their fullest extent and offer either technologically based protection from the mind influencing effects of supernaturals, or the natural training to resist them. This may make even my existence harder, but if there is ever to be any peace after the Veil breaks, humanity will need to be able to tell vampires, mages, and other supernaturals "no".
This planning and project-focus is useful, and helpful, for distracting me from other facets of my life. Not long ago, I lost a bit of control on one of Selene Team's marks. I removed him from prison, "entertained" him for a few days, drained him, and then fed him to my dogs - all because of the sins of the father.
I do not necessarily regret my actions. I regret the recklessness with which I enacted them. Taking that sort of risk was foolish, and ill-befitting of a Ventrue and Viviana's childe. I maintain that I am not half as clever as I think I am, and that is going to get me in trouble some night soon.
I have acquired a new revolver, the same model as Thunder, if you can believe it. It will not replace Lightning (nor should it), but it may serve me well in the future when dealing with ghosts and possessions.
I know there are more topics I can cover, however, I am not clear-headed enough to even touch on them.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
February 3 (Early Evening)
I hereby reaffirm that I utterly despise the first three months of the year, my birthday(s) notwithstanding.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
February 2nd (Evening)
Much has happened over the last couple of weeks.
Selene Team successfully ended a threat by those who would see the God Machine return to power in Chicago (and picked up some interesting technology in the process). Nox Team took on a large amount of Pandorans alongside Alpha Team and prevailed. The replacement for Mr. Belmont managed to get himself so mangled up on his first mission that it took a couple of weeks to get him back into something like fighting trim again.
Over the course of those weeks, I was approached by a woman named Rosina, who claimed to be like Bishop, but a daughter of Loki. She said she had something that belonged to him, but she couldn't get it to him without alerting another group, the Aegis Kai Doru - a hunter group hellbent on collecting any and all relics that might be useful in their fight against supernaturals. We hastily scrambled Selene to take it back during an -auction-.
I attended the auction with Agnes that night. Several others I knew were there as well. A few members of the audience were very poorly hidden agents of something. So Rosina's boyfriend, a mage named Figaro, went through his items and invited those of us who wished to to come view them at our leisure. Miss Rowen and Mr. Larravie were there, and Rowen made a point of oohing and aahing over things...which brought her into contact with another member of the audience, Marcus Purcell. The same Marcus Purcell who enjoys redheads.
Whoops.
Thankfully, after a bit of excitement with one of the agents making his way out of the building, the power to the building went out. I was able to watch Rowen simply pick up the gun and leave. I was also able to watch Marcus kill the other agent and make the chandelier fall on him. And then everyone left, save for Agnes and myself, as she stayed behind to clean up...and to give me a gift.
Fitting, since both of my birthdays had just passed, though I doubt that was the intention.
Earlier tonight, Rosina arrived and we left to meet Bishop, to give him what she called his Birthright and so that the two of them could meet. I was grateful to Rosina for taking the lead in the whole affair, as I did not trust myself to speak and possibly wreak havoc on what they have now. If something is to happen there, it will not be by my hand.
Bishop seemed receptive to Rosina's words, even going so far as to offer her protection if it comes to it. We spoke a bit, and he thanked me for bringing Rosina to see him. I simply nodded and took her home.
It has been a long night, already.
Selene Team successfully ended a threat by those who would see the God Machine return to power in Chicago (and picked up some interesting technology in the process). Nox Team took on a large amount of Pandorans alongside Alpha Team and prevailed. The replacement for Mr. Belmont managed to get himself so mangled up on his first mission that it took a couple of weeks to get him back into something like fighting trim again.
Over the course of those weeks, I was approached by a woman named Rosina, who claimed to be like Bishop, but a daughter of Loki. She said she had something that belonged to him, but she couldn't get it to him without alerting another group, the Aegis Kai Doru - a hunter group hellbent on collecting any and all relics that might be useful in their fight against supernaturals. We hastily scrambled Selene to take it back during an -auction-.
I attended the auction with Agnes that night. Several others I knew were there as well. A few members of the audience were very poorly hidden agents of something. So Rosina's boyfriend, a mage named Figaro, went through his items and invited those of us who wished to to come view them at our leisure. Miss Rowen and Mr. Larravie were there, and Rowen made a point of oohing and aahing over things...which brought her into contact with another member of the audience, Marcus Purcell. The same Marcus Purcell who enjoys redheads.
Whoops.
Thankfully, after a bit of excitement with one of the agents making his way out of the building, the power to the building went out. I was able to watch Rowen simply pick up the gun and leave. I was also able to watch Marcus kill the other agent and make the chandelier fall on him. And then everyone left, save for Agnes and myself, as she stayed behind to clean up...and to give me a gift.
Fitting, since both of my birthdays had just passed, though I doubt that was the intention.
Earlier tonight, Rosina arrived and we left to meet Bishop, to give him what she called his Birthright and so that the two of them could meet. I was grateful to Rosina for taking the lead in the whole affair, as I did not trust myself to speak and possibly wreak havoc on what they have now. If something is to happen there, it will not be by my hand.
Bishop seemed receptive to Rosina's words, even going so far as to offer her protection if it comes to it. We spoke a bit, and he thanked me for bringing Rosina to see him. I simply nodded and took her home.
It has been a long night, already.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
January 16th (Late Evening)
And thus did I simultaneously coordinate the end of a Masquerade violation and plant the seeds of a political revolution. And learned a ridiculous amount of information in the process.
Nox Team lost young Mr. Belmont yesterday. I saw the remains - utterly savaged and unrecognizable.
Like Max.
It has been almost a year since Max died. It has been barely over a year since I lost the Aces and my family to Taraton. I seem to be losing people at an astounding rate. Birthday month or not, I believe I despise the first quarter of the year.
I have Belmont's whip. Supposedly one of the weapons that caused Dracula much trouble down the years. I will do what I can to make sure it ends up in the proper hands.
I delivered Sangiovanni's staked corpse to Gabriella last night, thinking that she could use it to win back some political capital for the Carthians. Imagine my surprise when, barely an hour later, I am summoned to speak with the Prince. Apparently, she was going to negotiate with Sangiovanni for the defense of the docks with the Titans coming. Instead, she has been given an army and the man to lead it.
I learned three very important things last night.
First, the Prince appears to be more interested in hobbling the Carthians than in having a strong front to protect Chicago. She said she had no plans of replacing Vincent, though Gabriella had filed with intent to replace him. Instead, when Vincent asked to step down, she appointed him to a cabinet of advisors, again, for the coming troubles.
Second, the Prince is not as interested in eliminating Masquerade violations as she is in utilizing them. Ultor eliminated all arrived zombies at the docks after the fireteams arrived...but apparently she wants to make more. This is...unbelievable. I am certain the Titans will strain the Masquerade, if they adhere to it at all, but that does not give her cause to strain it as well.
Do not reveal your true nature to those not of the Blood. Doing so forfeits you your claim to the Blood.
We are all guilty of this, though individually. The Masquerade is cracked, it is fractured, but it is not broken. It is not our place to break it...
....unless we intend to utterly annihilate it and take our chances with the mortals knowing.
Third, I will not be nearly as eager to assist in things the Camarilla needs completed from this point forward. In exchange for a useful, money-generating territory, I was offered a large sum of money, as well as weapons, ammunition, and armor...all finite things that will last for a short while. And, being in a room with four Kindred capable of destroying me in a short amount of time (three physically, and one reputationally), I had no choice but to accept. From this point forward, news on any Masquerade-breaking "vampire" gets passed on to the Camarilla and then left alone by me and my people. I have no desire to have my time wasted in another such "conversation", because the Prince is more likely to want to use them than ash them.
At the end of it all, Vincent smells like roses and becomes closer to the Prince, I ended up with credit for something I desired the Carthians to win prestige for, and Gabriella, who was incredibly reluctant, winds up looking the part of the greedy, power-hungry bitch. Who is most likely to wind of Primogen...of the covenant to which I belong.
It...gets better.
Earlier tonight, the Camarilla's payment arrived. Knowing full well how this was going to be received, I contacted Nadya in an attempt to explain things to her.
It went as well as I expected.
In a condensed form, Ultor works for the Camarilla. Mr. Belmont died for the Camarilla's cause. Ultor can always be bought. All I need Nadya for is "to sign fucking checks." I make decisions that affect the whole company "without the respect it takes to ask a fucking opinion." And Nadya appears to have resigned.
Part of this is true. Part of this is speculation on circumstantial evidence.
I do make decisions that affect the company. That is, in essence, my job. She fails to understand a fundamental fact of the C-Level officers. Agnes is busy with Bishop and Marcus. Nadya is busy with Oliver and her club. Celeste is busy with Cillian.
I have Ultor, books, and my piano.
A significant portion of my waking moments are focused on Ultor - its status, the well-being of its employees, its perception among others. Where do we need to go from here, what is next, what should our focus be now? All of these are questions I have constantly running through my head.
Perhaps I am being overly dramatic. I do not know for certain that the Prince would have had me killed if I had not acquiesced to her offer...however I do not know that she would not have, either. I am of no use to anyone, least of all myself, as ash. Not to mention that we were going to lose the docks anyway. It is far too high profile a target. This way, we were able to get something substantial for it, and the Camarilla has to focus part of its attention on defending and holding that particular piece of real estate.
Overall, a victory. A very small victory, but a victory.
Vincent said something last night that I cannot help but agree with: "I am tired." Perhaps I am just not used to choice-after-hardship-after-implosion, and it makes me weary. Not as draining and pulling as that of an elder like Vincent of my Sire...but tired all the same.
Does the revolving door turn again? I guess I will have to wait and see.
Nox Team lost young Mr. Belmont yesterday. I saw the remains - utterly savaged and unrecognizable.
Like Max.
It has been almost a year since Max died. It has been barely over a year since I lost the Aces and my family to Taraton. I seem to be losing people at an astounding rate. Birthday month or not, I believe I despise the first quarter of the year.
I have Belmont's whip. Supposedly one of the weapons that caused Dracula much trouble down the years. I will do what I can to make sure it ends up in the proper hands.
I delivered Sangiovanni's staked corpse to Gabriella last night, thinking that she could use it to win back some political capital for the Carthians. Imagine my surprise when, barely an hour later, I am summoned to speak with the Prince. Apparently, she was going to negotiate with Sangiovanni for the defense of the docks with the Titans coming. Instead, she has been given an army and the man to lead it.
I learned three very important things last night.
First, the Prince appears to be more interested in hobbling the Carthians than in having a strong front to protect Chicago. She said she had no plans of replacing Vincent, though Gabriella had filed with intent to replace him. Instead, when Vincent asked to step down, she appointed him to a cabinet of advisors, again, for the coming troubles.
Second, the Prince is not as interested in eliminating Masquerade violations as she is in utilizing them. Ultor eliminated all arrived zombies at the docks after the fireteams arrived...but apparently she wants to make more. This is...unbelievable. I am certain the Titans will strain the Masquerade, if they adhere to it at all, but that does not give her cause to strain it as well.
Do not reveal your true nature to those not of the Blood. Doing so forfeits you your claim to the Blood.
We are all guilty of this, though individually. The Masquerade is cracked, it is fractured, but it is not broken. It is not our place to break it...
....unless we intend to utterly annihilate it and take our chances with the mortals knowing.
Third, I will not be nearly as eager to assist in things the Camarilla needs completed from this point forward. In exchange for a useful, money-generating territory, I was offered a large sum of money, as well as weapons, ammunition, and armor...all finite things that will last for a short while. And, being in a room with four Kindred capable of destroying me in a short amount of time (three physically, and one reputationally), I had no choice but to accept. From this point forward, news on any Masquerade-breaking "vampire" gets passed on to the Camarilla and then left alone by me and my people. I have no desire to have my time wasted in another such "conversation", because the Prince is more likely to want to use them than ash them.
At the end of it all, Vincent smells like roses and becomes closer to the Prince, I ended up with credit for something I desired the Carthians to win prestige for, and Gabriella, who was incredibly reluctant, winds up looking the part of the greedy, power-hungry bitch. Who is most likely to wind of Primogen...of the covenant to which I belong.
It...gets better.
Earlier tonight, the Camarilla's payment arrived. Knowing full well how this was going to be received, I contacted Nadya in an attempt to explain things to her.
It went as well as I expected.
In a condensed form, Ultor works for the Camarilla. Mr. Belmont died for the Camarilla's cause. Ultor can always be bought. All I need Nadya for is "to sign fucking checks." I make decisions that affect the whole company "without the respect it takes to ask a fucking opinion." And Nadya appears to have resigned.
Part of this is true. Part of this is speculation on circumstantial evidence.
I do make decisions that affect the company. That is, in essence, my job. She fails to understand a fundamental fact of the C-Level officers. Agnes is busy with Bishop and Marcus. Nadya is busy with Oliver and her club. Celeste is busy with Cillian.
I have Ultor, books, and my piano.
A significant portion of my waking moments are focused on Ultor - its status, the well-being of its employees, its perception among others. Where do we need to go from here, what is next, what should our focus be now? All of these are questions I have constantly running through my head.
Perhaps I am being overly dramatic. I do not know for certain that the Prince would have had me killed if I had not acquiesced to her offer...however I do not know that she would not have, either. I am of no use to anyone, least of all myself, as ash. Not to mention that we were going to lose the docks anyway. It is far too high profile a target. This way, we were able to get something substantial for it, and the Camarilla has to focus part of its attention on defending and holding that particular piece of real estate.
Overall, a victory. A very small victory, but a victory.
Vincent said something last night that I cannot help but agree with: "I am tired." Perhaps I am just not used to choice-after-hardship-after-implosion, and it makes me weary. Not as draining and pulling as that of an elder like Vincent of my Sire...but tired all the same.
Does the revolving door turn again? I guess I will have to wait and see.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
January 13th (Late Evening)
Nearly a month since my last entry. While it feels like very little has happened, it simultaneously feels like there has been far too much to take in.
Nox was highly successful in capturing two of the three Cloud Infinite Reapers. According to what I read, Yvonne was nearly killed and Mr. Bonaparte fell under the mental control of one of the mages. I say "from what I read," but really it was Mr. Birch storming into my office in a rage that informed me all about it. I sympathize, I do. But at no time did we ever downplay how dangerous this profession would be for them.
Heike uncovered quite a bit of information on the children of the gods. Basically, the old gods of myth are real and, during times of great trouble, they spawn demigods with mortals. It looks like these Titans are times of great trouble. And it looks like Bishop is one of these demigods. I guess that makes sense.
After the New Year, I took a brief vacation. I spent a few days returning to the ranch - the ranch where it all started, where I met Viviana, where I had my first encounter. It remains abandoned, as I suppose the only people who would desire to live in a place like that would be those interested in rumor.
The rest of the time I spent in the junkyard, at the safe house that is still maintained there. The amount of privacy one can command by owning your own junkyard is somewhat astounding. I recreated the firing range I had set there at one time, as well as my little fencing course. It was relaxing, just being able to disappear for ten or so days. It gave me time to decompress, to think, and, at times, to completely divorce myself from everything going on and lose myself to Thunder and the pistol, as well as my swordcane.
Tonight, Jameson begins his recruiting of Selene Team, whose purpose will be different than that of Nox, though no less important. I also found a letter on my desk from Cressida, thanking me for letting her work there for the three weeks she did and that she would owe me a favor for it. I am still unsure what to make of all that.
Nox was highly successful in capturing two of the three Cloud Infinite Reapers. According to what I read, Yvonne was nearly killed and Mr. Bonaparte fell under the mental control of one of the mages. I say "from what I read," but really it was Mr. Birch storming into my office in a rage that informed me all about it. I sympathize, I do. But at no time did we ever downplay how dangerous this profession would be for them.
Heike uncovered quite a bit of information on the children of the gods. Basically, the old gods of myth are real and, during times of great trouble, they spawn demigods with mortals. It looks like these Titans are times of great trouble. And it looks like Bishop is one of these demigods. I guess that makes sense.
After the New Year, I took a brief vacation. I spent a few days returning to the ranch - the ranch where it all started, where I met Viviana, where I had my first encounter. It remains abandoned, as I suppose the only people who would desire to live in a place like that would be those interested in rumor.
The rest of the time I spent in the junkyard, at the safe house that is still maintained there. The amount of privacy one can command by owning your own junkyard is somewhat astounding. I recreated the firing range I had set there at one time, as well as my little fencing course. It was relaxing, just being able to disappear for ten or so days. It gave me time to decompress, to think, and, at times, to completely divorce myself from everything going on and lose myself to Thunder and the pistol, as well as my swordcane.
Tonight, Jameson begins his recruiting of Selene Team, whose purpose will be different than that of Nox, though no less important. I also found a letter on my desk from Cressida, thanking me for letting her work there for the three weeks she did and that she would owe me a favor for it. I am still unsure what to make of all that.
Friday, May 9, 2014
December 21st (Early Evening)
A truly whirlwind couple of days.
To start with, Viola is gone. She decided she would rather leave than to stay with me knowing that there is now a time limit (albeit a vague, unknowable time limit) on our relationship. That is fair, and I regret how it ended. But I do not regret it happening.
Then I had a "guys night out" with Marcus. I think it was good for both of us to get out and just talk. He brought up an interesting point in that I shouldn't be alone for the duration, because then I'll begin a long trail of resentment. Well, I resent Bishop already, and I resent the waiting, not her making me wait.
I guess I'm on the right track?
Within hours of Viola leaving, I received an...application of sorts from Cressida, the leader of the Circle of the Crone, to be my new secretary. I don't even know what to do with that right now.
I may need a vacation.
To start with, Viola is gone. She decided she would rather leave than to stay with me knowing that there is now a time limit (albeit a vague, unknowable time limit) on our relationship. That is fair, and I regret how it ended. But I do not regret it happening.
Then I had a "guys night out" with Marcus. I think it was good for both of us to get out and just talk. He brought up an interesting point in that I shouldn't be alone for the duration, because then I'll begin a long trail of resentment. Well, I resent Bishop already, and I resent the waiting, not her making me wait.
I guess I'm on the right track?
Within hours of Viola leaving, I received an...application of sorts from Cressida, the leader of the Circle of the Crone, to be my new secretary. I don't even know what to do with that right now.
I may need a vacation.
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