April 17 (Late Evening)

One month later, I am hit with a night of reflection.

I am resolved to maintain a friendship, but to give up any intentions of taking said friendship further.

For now.

Today was the groundbreaking ceremony for Ultor Corporation. Through sheer force of will (and full body covering clothing) I was able to attend, to speak...to endure the violent, harmful sunlight and act...human, for a little while.

I can almost remember the feel of sunlight without it burning.

It was a good ceremony, pomp, circumstance, consternation over the location. We chose to build in the projects for a few reasons: 1) revitalization - The best way to improve conditions in a place is to improve the appearance of the place, 2) convenience - Most of the Ultor powerbase is here already wrapped up in the Soul's Army, 3) necessity - The projects are littered with underground chambers that we can adapt to our advantage.

Also, I am, as we've all seen, a huge fan of irony.

Here, my love affair with the city of Chicago began. I wandered into the projects and saw far more than I ever expected to see. For all its twists and turns, my path has been remarkable straightforward in hindsight. I start actually hunting in the projects, and I (mostly) retire from hunting in the projects. The story comes full circle.

I haven't slept decently in a month.

I am pulled in two different directions by Viviana and Guillermo. My sire believes it is best to, now that my humanity has been shaken, shrug off the rest of it and save myself the pain, anguish, and wasted time such feelings bring. Guillermo, on the other hand, pressures me to maintain my humanity for as long as possible, relishing in the pain because once it is gone, it is gone forever and there is no way to get it back.

No way for most people, but I will return to that later.

And so, I walk a fine line. The beast needs his due and the man needs his care. The beast is unleashed and focused upon business dealings. In that way, I can be ruthless and cutthroat without permanently damaging someone. The man takes care of my team, my people, and my friends. I still find myself with more of the man in control - and maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

I've set up a marker for Max, since I left his body behind. It's behind the mansion, just a little rock that most would miss. Sometimes I go out and spend hours just talking to it, alternately remorseful and raging. Not particularly helpful, I'm certain, but we all have our anchors to keep us sane, this is mine.

I've checked in, briefly, with the team. Nadya is swept up in preparations for graduation and work with her new club. I'll probably throw her a party, invite her friends. Now that Ultor is in the process of being built, Mark is preparing to quit the force. He'll join with us as head of security full time. Guillermo is...Guillermo. Flitting about, doing this and that. He says he'll be ready to work when I need him, and I'll trust him on that. Greyson's enigmatic as ever, Chronos is...Chronos...and Rose seems to be looking forward to taking on a position of responsibility in Ultor.

Cyril is not getting any better, and I am having no luck in finding a mage that I can kill without repercussions. I have my backup plan, but I am loathe to consign another to a fate akin to mine.

Agnes is... *lots of scratching*

I met a lovely young woman at Desire the other night, on one of my many attempts to get out and see people. She's an actress between jobs and has a college degree in business to boot. I am supposed to meet her tonight again, for drinks and idle chit-chat.

There's a man in town who's been looking for me. A Texan, who says he might have skills that we need in Ultor. I have his number, and his name. Henry Massena. I plan to contact him soon.

Time for my date.